To whom it may concern (poem)


To whom it may concern-
Misunderstood Me.
Understood you.
Lash out at me;
Mistake my reflection as you.
Ignoring your error;
You saw all of mine.
Belief in your good;
She counted on my dark.
My sins you hold dear;
Molding into demons.
She drained me of color;
Illuminating her features
False light illuminating.
Light shining lingers;
Clear detail-purity exposed.
Now corrupted as your mask;
She wears without shame;
Included ignorance & hate.
Mask will you never create;
Truth reveling in your evil purity.

Exposing the Eleven Phenomena!


The Eleven phenomena.

Since my awakening to Christianity, alot of views of all kinds of things have changed.

It wasn’t even that I awoke to Christianity. It was more that everything in my life spiritually speaking and physically speaking were becoming destructive and repetitious.

It was as if I began to awaken to the Destruction around me more and suddenly Jesus Christ had crossed my path asking me to spend some time with him. And I knew the longer I waited the more I would regret it.

So i went with him and his mere presence within me began the silence the many voices in my head that were coming from Fairies Guides, Tree Spirits, Planet spirits, and other Gods & Goddesses that I was hooked up to. He silenced Angelics that I spoke to and every other single being I was in contact with and had been for two years or longer.

He did so, so that I could hear him, know him, so i could tell the difference between him and the others. He illuminated what I can only call the truth. I cannot say this truth applies for all christians. As he says that we each have our own varied truth that fits us individually because of our background and influences. Truth doesn’t vary hugely but it does vary.

In these modern times as everything us so different. The bible should be translated a bit different with certain things. However the key elements will never change.

There are so many reasons for the things He commanded in the past and still does to this day however it’s rare when someone understands why. And explaining some of these things is why I’m here.

I will not cover all of these things in this post. For now I wanted to talk about the Eleven Phenomena. As it is the reason for why my seeking and communication with spirits began!

What I’m going to to say in this post is going to vary greatly from what I’ve said about this phenomena ever since it began for me in 2007.

Ita been 11 years since it began, oddly enough. And truthfully, from the beginning to the end its been an utter nightmare. It was mostly filled with a rollercoaster rise of confusion, confliction, empty promises, loss, but it hasn’t been all mad. Just completely unclear, confusing, slightly enlightening but mostly it ended with me realizing that I was being led by opposing spirits whom we’re attempting to lead me away from the search of the True God.

It ultimately lead me through a learning of all religions, yet I stayed with Theistic Satanism until recently. It took me through all the realms, lower, middle and upper. I made pacts with Satan, Lucifer, and other demons and Goddesses. I worked with nature spirits, gave tarot readings , heard voices from at least 30 voices every other day. I was infested with spirits, oppressed and possessed.

All the while I completely believed it was a positive thing! I didn’t see dark entities or demons as bad. I saw then as the true teachers of humanity that were merely demonized by Christians. And that they were the brainwashed ones but i was on a true search for truth!

Yea! Seriously! Its ludicris to me that none of us believe this is bad even tho we feel like we are goibg mad most of thw time. We just shrug it off amd see it as life is sometimes full of hardships. And we have to go through it to get to thw good.

The thing is? The good never actually came. Not really. There were illusions of good. Promises of good. But i love long term friends suddenly and for no good reason. Drama was (still is somewhat) following everywhere i go. People are quick to lash out at me when all the while I truly believed I was helping.

So i began to question things. If all of this is good then why am i not happy?

Do not trust these signs. Do not truat anything that isnt a direct link to Google. If it’s vague, too mysterious, or leading you down a rabbit hole, drop it!

Truth doesn’t work that way. Its revealing, unashamed, and there is no question. Truth is always pretty but you can always feel certainty & love that is when it’s God.

A religion shouldnt be hated.


If the path you’re walking is the result of you not understanding Christianity or a result of hating Christianity then you’re doing it all wrong.

A religion shouldnt be hated.

Regardless of your path. If you don’t understand a religion well that is the flaw of the meaning you attached to the religion. Its common for anyone on any path to understand their religion in the way that they do!

Regardless of what religion you believe in, we all have a unique understanding of it. Whether it is productive or not.

People need to learn how to take responsibility for how they understand things. Because that’s where the error is when people make bad decisions & it ends up speaking on the behalf of the religion.

Therefore people end up hating a religion because of the mistakes made by the flawed human. They won’t give the religion a true chance but they blame it either on the person who initially gave the wrong impression or define the religion by their undersranding.

The cycle doesn’t break there.

It carries on. You aren’t any better if you dnt give the religion a fair shot if you continue to see it through the eyes of a broken perspective.

Many reject Christianity for the wrong reasons and embrace other religions for the wrong reasons. Because it all stemmed from feeling rejected by a religion, or seeing a Christian make bad decisions in the name of the Lord, etc etc.

Christianity nor other religions, inclusing atheism is going anywhere. Talking shit about any of them, rebelling against any of them will nor destroy them. They are all here because the other is here.

Want to know the real reason why you see flaw, darkness and mistakes attached to Christianity? Because Darkness is supposed to be revealed in that religion. The God sees to it. The whole point is to admit youre a “sinner”. To see the world without Rose colored glasses.

Why are all the other religions seemingly peaceful? Because those religions are attempting to promise & sell you something. Darkness would be hidden or explained vaguely.

Many assume its the other way around.I used to believe that.

But one day i woke up, a Theistic Satanist, holding onto these beliefs that supposedly liberated me, that supposedly were helping me to manifest my dreams. Yet my life had fallen down around me.

I had many spirit guides, i was working with the planets, the many God’s, the fairies, etc…
And at first it was beautiful, miraculous. They madee feel special because, and I quote, “Not too many humans listen, but you do”, but as time went by their messages because repetitious, and increasingly hateful. Not towards me but towards humanity in general.

Why? Because humanity can be very ignorant about their surroundings, we can be selfish, many of us don’t give a shit about anything other than what we chose to give a shit about. Many of us are narcissistic & barely care for ourselves correctly let alone anyone else. Even in the most benevolant person there is major flaw and evil buds that can grow.

Ask any human why they hate humans and the answers are similar. But this influence comes from the same source I was getting my information from. We shouldnt hate our own kind… Because one isn’t better than the other, if we are honest. Seeing our darkness as a way to facing the world.

Separating ourselves, isolating ourselves, and choosing to worshiping planets, animals, trees or ourselves isn’t the answer. It will throw you off balance.

Humans have a large power because we were made in God’s image. So I’d we make the wrong mistakes the repercussions are going to either be Heavenly or Hellish.

This is why the need for Christianity was needed! Humanity needed to hear a story about a God no one had heard before, becoming a man, the one thing we hated & still do. We did and still do attempt with all of our might to find relation between ourselves and something unlike us because we reject ourselves,or want to learn about everything other than US.

So a story of a God unlike the others from the Romans, the Greeks, the Druids, and so on who became human. A human who lived a life of virtue. Who denied himself of every temptation in order to prove to humanity that there was and is a BEING of perfection that loved humans even when they themselves lost the truth of who they were, searching for it in destruction.

Because we knew we needed food, we needed sex to procreate, we needed materials to build homes and animals to give us materials to make clothes. These needs showed us eho we were & we became desensitized & shrugged at darkness by creating more darkness that added by ignorance of balance or discipline.

Jesus had to do as he did to instill the laws and truth of human nature within the present, future, and past once again. Because no one could remember such perfection that the true GOD was. That was so far away from where we were and still is. We have no comprehension of what perfection is so He can be called just that.

He needed to teach us of light, love, and forgiveness so that we would have a chance at redemption. A chance of becoming a Son of God just as he.

So that we could have the knowledge of saving ourselves from our own destruction. Because it is in our nature to destroy each other and ourselves.

And that is mostly whether we realize it, or not, whether we admit it or not, being a sinner means we are naturally destructive.

And by forgiveness & evolution through God is how we will learn to do better.

There is a void within us that we all attemptto fill by everything. Negative, positive, right, wrong, philosophies, God’s, anti-gods, demons, fairies, politics and art. Some will quicken the destruction some will slow it.

But only Jesus can illuminate it, protect it, and reveal to you what it is and what to do with it. It brightens with Christ so you can see. It darkest with the Enemy.

False Prophets? Really?


False Prophets? Really?

Okay, my fellow Christians & others, in these modern times this doesnt need to be the focus. I could understand when Jesus was alive & even many years later. And I can even understand speaking of someone who is in political power.

But exposing false prophets whom are online? Regardless if your opinion is valid. But seriously we need to look at more than just aspects before “exposing” people.

I’ve heard many people claim that two of the christians i watch on youtube are false while they claim others are false.

I just dont believe this works like it used to. The times have changed. And we are most likely going to be too inexperienced to be claiming others are false prophets unless its obvious like they are conning people out of money. And as far as this is concerned, we should already know they are to an extent using their stance for money.

If we have faith in what we say we do, then God will reveal them. We dont need to. These days that causes more confusion than good.

Not everything in the Bible needs to apply to these modern times. There is nothing wrong with questioning God when we arent sure about certain directions in the Bible.

Im not saying that the key elements are false but some things just wont work thw same in these modern times. Because of how things have changed and the Enemy works differently with people. Let’s not deny whats in front of us.

Understanding Satan in a useful way


Understanding Satan from the perspective of an ex Satanist.

One thing that many tend to do that I feel is a mistake is run screaming Satan. Many do not fully comprehend Satan.

As someone whom approached Satanic paths with the need to understand within my heart; I feel I have an advantage when it comes to understanding our enemy. In more ways than one.

I personally didn’t approach paganism and/or Satanism as a means to gain anything but understanding & answers that I felt I couldn’t find in Christianity when I was a child.

To be honest, I feel that there are answers that can be found in these paths but they won’t be full acknowledged until one finds themselves ready to accept The One True God & Christ, undiluted, in their life.

Because, and I don’t care what other christians say in response to what I’m about to say, but the truth is sprinkled throughout everything in this life. We must acknowledge it. We must be clear & vigilant with the purpose within our hearts when a seeker.

Theres nothing inherently wrong with seeking. God wants us to seek him. So despite of what many say, so long as your true purpose is to know truth, God will find you. No matter what path the enemy may have trapped you on.

Satan simply means the Adversary or the Enemy. Which can manifest as anyone, anything, any color, emotion, demon, situation, human, animal. Any opposition.

Satan can disguise himself as the most benevolent being but will always show the difference between ‘this or that’. This entity is full of paradox & trappings. Each movement is based on his or her or agenda which is unknown to you.

This means that this current is alive in everything. Including, yes, the Bible. Satan is the opposing God to Christ. He is the main star and the God of this world! He will always have a piece of you. Which is why it’s so important to have as much of your soul as honest and aligned to God as possible that is unique to whom you are.

As God understands the repercussions of this fallen angel & all else that has happened spiritually & physically that maybe we aren’t aware of. Remember kids, we are flawed. Our soul is inherently innocent. We can fall for anything.

We learn to judge. We learn to be negative. Negative isn’t apart of our souls origin. It is apart of the first angel ever created by God.

This means God understands all of this darkness. This rebellion. The game. Your heart. My heart. And cannot be fooled.

God doesn’t hate. He may not agree or not like. But he is not capable of hate. Only the enemy would say to fear God. Only the enemy would judge you.

Christ nor God is judging you. We judge ourselves. By our conscious which is connected to the source of God. Judging, hatred, anger etc these things give false illusion of righteousness.

Telling someone what is good or right for them in the eyes of God without taking into consideration that God works on an individual level & knows things you don’t know? It’s being the enemy.

You don’t think the Bible is full of tests? Hidden tests? Think again. Do not preach the entire Bible as if you underatand it without flaw.

Believing this to be so is the Enemy. It means you’re bold enough to understand every intention by God. And the intention of every prophet & apostle in the Bible. Why?

That seems misguided.

Satan is an entity when approached as I did in my early satanic days, he will inspire an inquisitive nature within you. He will quench your thirst to understand by feeding you both illusion & truth. In order to keep you questioning.

He will scapegoat you as he has been done. He will rarely confess to his flaws unless he is forced to or it suits his agenda. He will create new stories of his origin, your origin, whether or not God exists, he will corrupt your view of Jesus.

He will connect you with the darkest part of your soul while presenting himself as not a teacher but one whom guides you to become familiar darkness. If you keep your eye on him he will not suggest you to harm yourself or anyone else.

This is how he presented himself to me by the way I approached him when entering the satanic path. Many assume different things. But if you’re entering it with the need for truth in your heart. He plays his game more subtlety & slowly.

However that doesnt mean he doesn’t have something to offer intellectually to consider. This is why it’s important to face him with the desire to learn.

As he won’t be leaving our lives anytime soon. Isn’t it best to know your enemies? Facing him may even and will change the dynamic you have with him now.

But allow yourself to be guided by someone whom has experience in such things. Depending on your fears he may have you in a weak spot already and changing the gameay not be good for you individually.

However pray to God instead that you seek to understand the enemy. In order to eliminate the hate.

Recognize the saying, “Know your opponent”? This still applies. This is how you can understand and spot the traps he may have you in or attempt to have you in.

Its important to know the enemy will try anything. It can be anything. Even what you least expect. Satanic current can and will attempt to corrupt everything. But by paying attention to it in our own lives first, we can help others whom need help in identifying demonic activity, oppression, and possession in their life.

Which suggests we need to understand the current in our personal life before we go & judgeing others path. We aren’t here to judge another. Use common sense and judge in general? Sure.

But let’s be honest, many times we judge for the wrong reasons and convince ourselves it’s benevolant. When it’s actually not. Satanic current thrives in judgement.

Only God can judge in the appropriate way. Making better choices means to beable what is best for yourself and others involved. That doesnt mean using judgement per se. It isn’t hard to see what is good for you and what isn’t.

You don’t necessarily need to use judgement. If you have a direct link to God. Allow him to tell you. And realize this information is for you. Not others.

Did you always listen when you were told you were making a mistake? No. Therefore others need to hear other information. The how’s and why’s. Not that they are wrong. But how and what perspective may they try on in order to connect with God easier.

How do they spot warnings and how to see they are in an unhealthy situation. Tell them the how’s. Not your judgements of their life.

If you believe your judgements are what guides you, you may be trapped by ego whom is encouraged by the enemy in order to bring a false sense of self & security to the ego. Or maybe not.

But trying to get through to others as we’ve been for the past century isn’t entirely the best. If Christians cant admit when they’ve done wrong… Then why should anyone believe in Christianity?

The point in Christianity is seeing the truth of darkness, admitting it, and chosing the light of truth to get you through this dark world.

It should be the most honest, loving and innovative religion.

Prove that to others.

In closing Satan may show himself as a red demon, or shadow wolf with red eyes along snarl to some. Or he may pretend to be a trusted angel, spirit guide whom hooks you with his beauty & charm. These two faces are the most well known.

But for others he may be well tamed & as honest as he allows while he takes you on a journey of truly learning good & evil.

While we may take a few detours of confusion or distraction along the way. Seeing darkness with a willingness to gain wisdom is best when dealing with our fallen angel.

Be cautious but listen to him & test him at every doubting moment.

There is nothing wrong with this so long as you do so with the correct intent and ask God to make his warnings clear if you don’t see dangers.

Some may think this is an odd thing to recommend but it’s truly something that needs to be done at least once to formally show satan youre paying attention.

Sometimes more is needed coupled with God’s protection. Running away in fear isn’t always useful. Satan needs to be understood for mord than one reason. Fearing him does nothing.

Not all paths lead to God-My Response


Something I commented on a few videos that were stating all paths to God are dangerous or stating other denominations of Christianity are wrong–etc.

“I would spend more time explaining that difference among translations of the bible that lead to different paths among the Christian realm is going to happen and cannot be avoided.

Ive noticed that there is a large amount of people will go to extremes to point out the invalidity of Catholicism or whatever concept another Christian is holding rather than simply stating that this difference among humanity in every paradigm whether right or wrong in the eyes of The God or A God, is going to happen.

People are not communicating things correctly. You people are saying one thing is right & the other is wrong. That’s not how God works. Thats Satan.

God created everything & everyone. And regardless if God would do as you have or Lucifer, is irrelevant. God understands the place we hold. While we are both right and wrong. This is why he can forgive us. So long as our request for forgiveness is genuine.

We send ourselves ro hell when we don’t see our poor choices. Hell awaits. Then hell comes when we see the poor choices.

In truth Satan needs to be understood on every level in order for this to be understood. Satan isnt all bad. He is, after all, the teacher of Good & Evil. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t lie, but it also doesnt mean he never tells the truth or has validity in his claims.

This is why individuality needs to be encouraged and not feared on some level. Good deals with everyone on an individual level.

Which includes dealing with their background whether it’s of a satanic manner, like myself, or not. Satanic current in within all things.

It’s alive in all debates and all arguments that state even on a benevolant level, “I’m right, you’re wrong.” But it’s also alive in other ways that may contradict what I just said.

God said this world is of Satan’s domain. He is the prince & power of the air. In order to understand that one needs to understand their paganism to some degree. The spirits of the air is of the intellect. The will of the ego & need to understand. Particuarly one goes to extremes to be understood.

God created Satan, the enemy, Lucifer, and all the spirits whom turned against him and all of us are paying the price of that. Because ifit weren’t for Satan putting his will above God’s then we wouldn’t have the knowledge of choice. We would be one with God.

God, in my opinion, was going to have Adam & Eve taste the forbidden fruit but when the time was right. But if we pay attention, God is full of test givings. Everything is a test.

Everything we chose to say has risk in being wrong. Even in the eyes of God and in ways that we don’t understand.

The Bible cannot explain everything. I am not discouraging it from being read. Read it. It’s a source of truth, the number one source of truth for christians.

But it would be silly to believe there arent mistakes made by man. Even when writing such source of truth. Even with the most Holy of intentions we can accidentally go against God’s will. If we can follow the fallen angel without realizing it then we can translate the Bible in the wrong way. We can speak out of the wrong points and we can condemn the wrong person, wrong path, and miss the point entirely.

Above all the Bible is saying to tread lightly. And to seek understanding. But we cannot understand if we don’t follow the enemy to some degree. We must make mistakes.

Which is the same as saying “I’m a sinner.”

Everyone’s story of salvation is important. No matter how that road looks to onlookers. No one can define the heart of another. So therefore stating a denomination or path of Christianity is wrong is something that needs to be done with an improved way.

The face of christianity has been full of hypocrisy and violence for years. This isn’t beneficial. That’s not the fault of anyone’s except for the face od christainity.

There will be zero conversions if the teachings are mirroring what they’ve been. Evolution of communicating the word of God is needed.

Defense isn’t necessary. Saying different words, and understanding why this is more powerful is needed. If Christians love everyone as we say we do. We need to stop defending ourselves & be real.

God works with each one individually which means there is more tolerance that needs to be had. Everyone is allowed to have their own understanding of Christianity so long as it’s beneficial and their heart is genuine.

Only Christ can say who’s heart is genuine. No matter the choices and actions that have come out of them.

To say that it’s untrue that all paths lead to God is presumptuous. I was a spiritual Satanist and I woke up and found Christ suddenly one day.

If God wants us to see him, he will make that happen. And i have seen many different things and have been places where majority has not been.

In the end it was my choice to convert. But ultimately what enabled me to see it was my genuine need to understand God on a heart level.

I didn’t come into satanism with greed. I came into it to understand and find truth. If that’s in your heart, ultimately you will find Christ.

It isn’t up to humanity to say what the other is doing spiritually speaking is wrong, we can say it may not be fruitful & sinful, but wrong? That’s paradoxical.

If there’s paradox, there’s Satan. I should know. I’ve seen the fallen angel in all of his guises.”

Forgive your enemies.


To my lovely enemies.

I wanted to take a moment to speak to all of you;as I know I have many of you.

Whether for better or worse, whether your reason is rooted in truth… or not. Regardless if my reasons and ways are rooted in truth.

I still felt it was needed for me to speak to you all.

First I’d like to thank all of you for the memories, particuarly when you & I were on good terms.

As most enemies started as friends, or started as enemies then went to friends then back to enemies.

Sometimes however we can be both friends & enemies at once for years while in a relationship/friendship. Silly right?

This shit happens. I believe it’s important for us all to realize that we are on this Earth together. And the truth doesn’t have many colors. It has one. The truth is expressed with different colors but the truth itself isn’t varied.

Most of us tend to live life in the way that says, “I don’t understand it therefore it’s wrong” or we decide to not have time for it. Or we fear it. How do we know these thoughts have validity?

The decision doesn’t protect us. It actually disables us to understand. Many of our decisions are rooted in ignorance.

What happens on this Earth will be mostly made up of suffering. There is no way around it. No way to escape it.

Your mistakes arent better or worse than mine. And vice versa. To believe so is a choice in rejecting truth. We then cannot see properly if we owe responsibility in situations or not if we see better or worse in these terms.

We destroy out of fear, ignorance and false sense of ego. Sometimes it’s for reasons we don’t see at the time. Sometimes our choices were guided by God, sometimes not.

This should make us more vigilant & open our eyes. Whether you want to say its God or the power of Good versus the opposition. Its the same.

But my dear enemies, you’ve misunderstood me. You’ve feared me. You’ve chastizede me. You’ve judged me. And at one point or another or on some other level, within my own ignorance, I’ve done the same to you.

I don’t believe anyone is inherently evil. But I do believe we can be guided so far away from the truth of benevolance (On more than one level) that we become desensitized and corrupted in our choices.

So this message is to say that no matter your response to this, spoken or unspoken,I forgive you for your destruction you’ve cast upon me. You weren’t aware of your flawed perspective.. and neither was I in relation to you.

In the end we committed the same crime. Using different defenses, truth, and lie. While wearing different shades of the same blindfold.

I release the burden of my enemies so as to not have a heavy heart that will lead me towards corruption once again.

To continue being my enemy is now in your own hands.