My Testimony

I call myself a Christian Witch. Why? Because on October 11th, 2018 after nearly two years of seeing into the future that this very thing was coming my way I surrendered to the current & will of Jesus Christ. I was willing to give up everything for Him.

(As I noted on my welcome page there may be many who will not like this, or understand it, disagree with it, people whom are christian, or witches, or satanists alike! Believe me, I will hear it form someone… on some path that this is wrong and that I need to follow “their” way. But guess what? You’re wrong. Nobody needs to follow any other human beings way of religion, whether satanic, christian, or otherwise. Everyone is unique and only God knows the heart of that individual. No human needs the help of another human to tell them what is true or what is not. Even if they are wrong, even if you think I’m wrong, or I think you’re wrong. That isn’t how this works, whether youre Christian, Satanists, Atheist, Pagan, or what ever you call yourself. In the end the truth will prevail. 

As a Christian, I believe that God will prevail anyways. So meandering around telling others that they need to walk their path with God in the way that you do, is a bit contradictory considering that Jesus Christ already did the job for you. No one will listen until they are ready to listen.. and God will usually reveal himself to that person in the most unexpected way.) 

 


Having said that; back to my story! I wasn’t raised with any type of religion. My mother was agnostic & preferred to not speak of religion, literally didn’t want to lie to me about Santa Clause. However my Grandfather was an influence when we was saved when I was just nine years old. This was when he bribed me to get baptized & needless to say this caused issues between he and my Mother. 

My grandfather also told me when I was 8 years old, as a whisper into my ear, that he needed to change the TV channel, VH1 was on, Robert Palmer “Simply Irresistible” video, because the devil was tempting him to think lustful thoughts of the women in the video. This was my very first introductory of what being a Christian meant. Needless to say these two experiences stayed with me & I never fully understood any of it. I felt nothing but fear & shadiness from both experiences. 

Skip ahead to when I was 15, as I stated on my welcome page, I was forced to be exorcised of demons all because I liked Marilyn Manson. This began my first real experience of Jesus Christ however along with a veil of lies about who he was. I lived my life as a very unwise Christian for a few years after that. But with time I moved on and began my rebellion towards all of that in my early-mid 20’s. 

 


 

It was around 2006 when paganism found its way into my life. I had always experienced the spiritual world as you will or have found within my posts on this website. I have deleted some of my past posts but not all as I find many of these past posts to be important & educational even if I feel a little different about some of the topics these days. But you can find stories of my childhood paranormal experiences within this website. 

Paganism was the first real shot I felt that I had that could explain much of the visions, dreams, and experiences that I had had as a child and was still having as a young adult. But to keep this story as short as possible– I wont go into too much detail as I stated you can find many of those stories of the past in the archive! 

Anyways, I started with Paganism, heavy studying, then Buddhism, Nonduality, Satanism (theistic, atheistic, spiritual, and actual devil worship), I also studied Luciferianism, Demonology, Druidry, etc. Nearly every forbidden subject & tomb I studied, researched & had valid experiences with, including things like Astrology, Planetary Magick, Tarot & Oracle, Fairie Magick, Daemonology, Angelic Magick (Fallen & otherwise), Draconian Paths, Dragon Magick, Numerology, Astral Travel, Willful Possession, Channeling, Spirit communication, godform Assumption, Shadow magick, black magick, connecting the living with the dead & more! I also guided & helped others with many or one of these subjects over the years.  And, I was very good at it. 

 


I understand Satanism as well as I do the back of my own hand however I am sure that many followers of Satanism may disagree with me. But that isn’t my concern nor theirs. I’ve walked many paths particularly the forbidden ones. And this doesn’t mean that because I am a witch whom follows Christ first and foremost—that I am fearful of Satan or the energy of the enemy. It means that I have found a full, stable, grounding view & fullness of love within my heart that I have seen the wisdom in following Christ before all other deities however understanding, & seeing Satan within everyone just as I see Christ within everyone as well.

Everyone has a dark side, everyone is a sinner, but that doesn’t mean that God/Christ isn’t there loving us & rooting for us no matter how many mistakes that we make or how many times we may reject him. Even if we aren’t looking for him during our darkest moments, he is always looking for us. Recreating ways to reveal himself to us. 

Everyone is capable of being the villain & and Hero. God has the capability to astound you by the way he reveals himself to you! His grace is truly amazing as they say & there is nothing he will not forgive! As Satan himself is also forgiven, and has a place in Heaven when he finds himself back on the path of being one with God once again. 

 

 


 

Does this mean that I reject the magick & witchcraft that I learned prior? No. Why? Because when I surrendered myself to Jesus Christ–I was willing to give everything up. No matter what. I knew it was time. Because I had seen it coming for two years prior, ever since I met the Goddess Hekate, for whatever reason, I felt the energy of the Virgin Mary, & the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit–deep within her. Though I never asked about it because I knew there were things she needed to show me first because I got there. It was as if she was the medium, the in between, a ladder even, so that I could work through certain blocks in order to reach the height in which Jesus & the Creator was awaiting for me to awaken to the truth of who they were. Which at that time I saw Jesus as an Ascended Master, nearly the equivalent of Buddha. 

Now? I know Jesus is much more than a mere ascended master. He dwells within the highest part of the Heavens. Above all else, including our little crazy Buddha whom insists on not existing! hehe 

Once I showed god that I was willing to give it all up, after some time he began to rebuild me, showing me step by step what was truly a part of my path and what was not. And being a witch is still apart of my path. It may not be apart of every Christians Path. But it is mine. And no other Human has the information nor knowledge to tell me otherwise. 

No matter what you quote from the Bible itself. I have grown to trust the Bible for the most part yes. But we need to use discretion with anything that any human writes when it comes to applying what is said to our lives. The most trusted resource is surrendering yourself to Jesus/Creator & truly listening to his direction! Learning from trial & error. Should we read the Bible? Of course! I wouldn’t reject that. But to apply everything that is said? Or to fully believe that everything that was said 2,000 years ago applies to every aspect of ours lives in this modern day & age? I believe that God wants us to evolve and see that he evolves also. I believe there is a key foundation within the bible that doesn’t change and should be applied but we need to also keep in mind that humans make mistakes. Remember? We aren’t right about everything no matter what the subject matter is… Sometimes we get confused. Trust the intention of the bible? Yes. But trust everything that is said? Maybe not. Maybe its best to go straight to the source that you trust, as God, himself, and ask what is best for you, personally, instead… just my thoughts! He wants us to have clarity… not confusion. Confusion causes us to not hear him well. 

Remember Satan is the God of this world for better & worse! This means that his influence on us will go unseen many times & seen many times. Which leads me to this, we will always be fooled by him on some level. This isn’t something to fear but to be appreciated because as long as we are fooled… we simultaneously have the chance to find God once again. Instilling this truth within us will make it harder to be fooled. To know the world of which we reside within.. and which gifts *ultimately) come from whom.. this makes things much more easier to understand. It brings a balance. If youre obsessed with being right? Youre being fooled. If youre obsessed with analyzing every little thing in the bible? Youre being fooled. Its a distraction. Perhaps its a good thing for your individual soul, perhaps its becoming unhealthy.. there comes a time where we must begin to recognize the patterns, the traps.. if you begin to believe that youre holier than though and you have the answer for not only yourself but everyone else too, and everyone else is going to hell then youre in trouble… stop while youre ahead. 

I’ve been hearing lately that there are “false Jesus'” out there. Actually there is only one Jesus but you can end up projecting the false created illusion of whom your mind believes Jesus is or wants to believe he is or perhaps youve been encouraged to believe Jesus is a certain way by the ego of mind which is equivalent to the energy of Satan. So, keep a look out, Christians are also just as vulnerable to this so called “false Jesus” just as they say New Agers are or people like myself are. This is why its so important to keep yourself in check & grounded & to take what others say as expressions of their own individual self! 

 


 

I have a gift. I always have. Its why I’ve been guided by God which also includes Satan, just as with anyone else on any other path. They are the balance of the Universe. Without one we cannot know the other. It is why God allowed this to be as it is. In order for us to keep looking for him, learn, and see that there is good and evil in this world but by the teachings of Satan can we only know that. However, God has only one of these attributes. Good. Love. Righteous Judgement. Truth. Satan is the union of opposites. But gives the gift of individuality. Allows us to seemingly go off on our own… to rebel only to find out what the truth that resides within our own heart… by observation.. & liberation. We all do that by separating ourselves from God only to become reunited with him once again. There aren’t a million different paths. Seemingly sure. But truly there is only one path & one path alone. The path of the heart. 

I’ve experienced many different things & I used to have certain perspectives of those things until the Goddess Hekate came along & things began to slowly shift and change shape & I noticed it slowly begin to mirror things I had heard from Christianity. But it wasn’t until now that I fully understand certain stories & teachings. And I know the further I move into the bible to learn the more I will understand. However I still believe there is truth to be learn from the dark. Or else what would be the point? Jesus would have died for no reason if there were no lessons in the dark! 

 


 

My witch side that compliments my Christian side is this–

I still honor the Earth, I still honor the other planets, I still recognize the Planetary Gods or aka Demons. They have a role in this life. Sometimes they can be malevolent other times they can be benevolent. But it doesn’t mean we need to stay away from them unless that is what is good for your own heart & mind or sanity. They can be a handful to deal with. But I haven’t been told to stay away. I have been told to put Jesus Christ/The Creator first & foremost. But to acknowledge all the other entities & other things that I’ve learned from my other studies as much of it was/is true only see them for what they really are through the eyes of the one true God. 

As Christ said to me, the darkness isn’t going anywhere. That isn’t the point. The education I gained isn’t going anywhere, its all apart of the truth, for better or worse. The point is to accept me as your savior, your one true God, in order to attain stability & to protect your soul. Because that is how things evolved over time. And it is what it is. 

But it doesn’t mean I will be blocked now from all darkness or that I need to fear it nor reject it. There isn’t anything wrong with practicing magick so long as its accepted by Him, and asked about by me relating to my own path. There is a reason why these things were warned against, but that doesn’t mean that it necessarily applies to everyone, in this modern age. Allow God to evolve at least a little bit that feels comfortable within your own heart. There is nothing to fear, if we find out we were wrong, no big deal. To truly think that you will worship Jesus Christ in perfection is a bit of a fragile way of seeing things and will cause us to become a bit more focused on analyzing & proof instead of feeling his words with our heart first then understanding with our minds. 

 


There are things to hate & love as is the knowledge of good and evil but ultimately and through the eyes of God can I only learn to truly forgive the darkness & love it as much as I can. As I have walked so many different paths there are very few paths & view points that I haven’t held within my lifetime that I am not able to understand in a short amount of time. As I’ve always been able to understand, emapathize with others easily even if I am upset with them. This is the biggest reason why I surrendered to Jesus. As I truly, without any consent of my own, began to find paralels between myself, and certain experiences I was having to the life of Jesus Christ. 

Never to say that I am fully capable of understanding Him. As I can’t. But I can to a great degree & then suddenly there he was. I believe that is the biggest key element in accepting him into your heart. Understanding & relating to his life, in both the light & dark ways that he experienced as love & suffering. Humanity can find themselves in very dark spots.. along with the rejection of God. And that is where I was finding myself even though I believe in many different deities.. I was missing the Ultimate One. 

 


Once I saw that.. I surrendered. 

And he began to rebuild me. He has a plan for us all, but I can only speak of my own plan. And it isn’t too far away from what I was already gravitating towards within the other paths that I was studying. I am not here to convert or to change anyone. 

But I know that I am here to help others understand darkness. Hate isn’t apart of God. Hate isn’t apart of Jesus. Or else Jesus wouldn’t beable to have forgiven us when he was crucified. That takes clarity & strength on a level that is very hard for many of us to do. But with God… it can be done. This is an accepting of what is on a level that most reject until they no longer can reject it anymore. 

I am also here to help others face & work with their demons. Demons aren’t meant to be feared. The more you fear them.. the stronger they become. God believes that we are ready to face these demons. God is always positive and always is summoning our strength even when we dont feel we have such a strength or bravery within us.



I will leave this post as is. If youre interested in knowing more— email me at violetmoonshadowz@gmail.com

Be on the look out for more posts relating to this and other subjects! 

God Bless

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