Hello there! While I know I am not finished with Marilyn Manson’s career timeline in this project of mine. I said I would finish the three bands career timeline but I’ve been focusing on other things pertaining to this blog. lol But I have been listening to alot of Marilyn Manson lately & thinking about my long interesting journey I’ve had with this rockstar. So I figured I would go ahead and start this part of the project. Those of you whom are reading this I’m sure you are well aware of his career or you may be someone who hates him but overly curious about what the big deal is. lol
The purpose for this project is first & foremost because I love music! It is a very big part of my life. Secondly these three bands are my all time favorite & have had a heavy amount of influence over who I am today & will continue to do so until they or I die. I always said that KoRn is symbolic for the nature of my spiritual signature. Type O negative is symbolic for the nature of my emotional realm. And Marilyn Manson is symbolic for the nature of my mental realm.
If you have seen my front page to the Holy Trinity yet– you can find that here.
Marilyn Manson’s story is almost done–you can find the starting page to that here.
Technically Marilyn Manson was the very first rockstar that grabbed my attention to such an intensity and even though I didn’t become an avid fan immediately–I always came back for more and my eyes were glued to him every time I saw a new video of his. He effected me in a way that nobody else in the music industry did at that time. I was only 12 years old. And at that point I wasn’t even into rock, alternative, or industrial yet. I was into pop, rap, & R&B. However I did enjoy the ol classic rock tunes my mom listened to which was Janis Joplin, CCR, Led Zeppelin, & Jimi Hendrix. So I did have that influence! lol I technically didn’t grab onto rock music & the like until I was 15. But thats a story for later.
The story goes like this. Me & my “best friend” at the time– (I put quotations because we remained friends for 20 years and I was stupid to let it go on that long but she recently dropped like it was nothing after all that I went through with that narcissistic sexual abuser who degrades women. That is the worst kind because she is a woman herself! Anyways, you can read part one of my story about that hellish relationship here.) –we were sitting in the living room, on the floor when his video, “Sweet Dreams” came on & we hadn’t ever saw it before.. We were both 12 years old.
She was raised Christian, however her & her family were the few of the most flawed people I’ve ever met! Seriously, and I think she turned out to be the worst one out of her fucked up family. I will explain that though in my other post relating to her.
She was extremely fake. The fakest person that I’ve ever met. She fooled everyone into believing her mask. She was good at pretending to be innocent, interested in what people were saying, pretending to care, pretending to be sensitive to peoples feelings, she would also (and still does) completely make up stories to impress people. Marilyn Manson effected her greatly and in turn caused strange occurrence in my friendship with her that lasted on and off through out the whole friendship. So forgive me for being a bit long winded about this friend but she plays a huge part.
Anyways back to us sitting on the floor & the video comes on. We had MTV on at all times at this point. I even had a VHS recording randomly alot to catch videos on tape. lol The good ol days. It was summer time, schools out. BTW I wish I still had that tape! Thank the Gods for Youtube! lol The sound of “Sweet Dreams” immediately catches our attention, and immediately our eyes were glued & became quietly yet intensely paying attention.
My impression? Intense curiosity. Slightly creepy but not in a bad way. He influenced me to ask questions within my own mind. I was like, “hm.. so, why Why the creepy look? Why the creepy sound?” I even wondered of all the songs why specifically that song? lol Even though at that age I probably couldn’t have told you it was The Eurythmics. lol
Anyways, I wasn’t really uncomfortable. I was extremely drawn to him & curious. Well next thing I know, my “friend” started freaking the FUCK out. Literally! You know when most people think back to that panic & craziness that Manson inspired, they kinda just shrug like it was nothing. I think people have forgotten how truly crazy it was. Manson doesn’t receive the credit he deserves, I don’t even think he credits himself enough! Did he change the whole world? No. But he changed alot of people’s lives for better & for worse. Those protests weren’t fake. They were real & he received death threats. People HATED & feared him–not just a little but lots & lots. Its real. I saw it before my eyes. Just wait until you read more. I experienced this stuff first hand. It wasn’t heresy for me.
My friend started hitting her head like a retard, and like I get sometimes music makes you lose control but it’s usually in an overall positive way even if it appears to be negative. It’s positive because they are releasing pent-up aggression and what not. That wasn’t this. She was literally going insane. She was lost in darkness. She started crying & begging me to turn it off. She then whine & cried claiming to see demons everywhere. She slapped herself in the face. And just overall acting fucking insane. I was sitting there watching her, then turning my head watching him, and going back and forth. like…. what. in. the. fuck? I didn’t turn it off though, I watched it til it went off.
And we never spoke about that moment. Not even later when we got older or nothing. We never talked about it. I even wondered at one point if she was faking it for whatever reason. Or if she even remembers it? I dont even know. But this moment made me even MORE curious. I was thinking, what is it about this that is influencing her to act like like that? LIKe even if she is faking it, there is still a reason, and he still influenced this? Why? Like ok sure the song is kinda creepy, but so creepy you see demons & shit? I dont know about you, craig, but thats nuts! lol
Knowing what I know now, though? I should have taken her reaction as a sign that I needed to run as far away from her. These days? I think something about Marilyn Manson reveals the truth in people. He is like a mirror. And he reminds me alot of myself. And I will explain that towards the ends of this.
Anyways, fast forward about a year at the most. I didn’t really grab onto him yet. But he had my attention. “Long Hard Road Out of Hell” & “Man that you fear” were our next couple of videos we watched by him. And we both watched them for the first time together. She didn’t react as strongly for those. But she was still very creeped out, particularly by the song, “Man that you fear”. This was when I started to really see his beauty. When I first saw him in the video for “Man that you Fear”, my God, I fell in love with that beautiful face & I loved the way he drew his eyebrows. lol That was the first time I had ever really seen that look, & done well! As far as my friends reaction, she saw his beauty as well but was offended by the blasphemy in the video “Long Hard Road Out Of Hell” & the song, “Man that you Fear” creeped her out, as I said. She started to seemingly calm down her fear of him as we both became obsessed with the song, “Tourniquet”.
But now its time for me to skip ahead in time!
At this point in the timeline we were about 15, this was when I had embraced rock music as whole. I was a big fan of KoRn, Manson, NIN, & many more. Type O negative didn’t come til later unfortunately. Anyways, I was home for the summer. I had moved away for about a year & more to live with my Dad so it was nice to get away from my “friend” but only to return to her shiney happy face, I did! As I have stated before in other posts, I couldn’t get rid of her, only until recently!
Anyways, at this point in my life, being away from the only Christian influence, & other influences I was able to actually hear myself think. And I was able to begin to figure out who I was. I had decided that I didn’t believe in Christianity anymore, not that I was fully devout but still. I decided to believe in a higher power. I had only just recently began to create my own path & took on a spiritual point of view with some Shamanic influences! I was really excited & needless to say I was a huge fan of Manson at this point.
Well, my friend didn’t like it. She ended up begging me to go back to church with her, even if i was only once. She was “worried about me”, etc etc. So reluctantly I agreed. And boy did I ever regret it. Well not at the time but I did later!
We made it to church that evening. And my God, they were all trash talking my favorite rockstar. Saying everything you would expect them to say. I just giggled & didn’t take them seriously. They then put their hands on me & began speaking in tongues. I laughed. They did some kind of blessing & cleansing on me. And I truly didn’t listen to anything that was said. Except for the last sentence which was something along the lines of, “When Amy opens her eyes she will see the world with a new view.” I chuckled.
Well when I opened my eyes? My perspective was completely different. As if literally a switch had been flipped. I cannot explain it other than the fact that these mother fuckers were fucking amazing at brainwashing! YOu literally don’t even have to be raised Christian, simply be influenced by one or two people in your whole life, though I was baptised at age nine by my grandfather. But that situation, I didn’t even understand & he bribed me to do it with doughnuts! I agreed to it because I knew it would make him happy but it did nothing for me. Needless to say my mom was pissed when she found out.
But this situation? Oh, I was completely changed, healed, cleansed, and had seen the light. And I didn’t even listen to the words they spoke, didn’t understand most of it since they spoke in tongues! I went home & broke my Manson CD’s along with others!
I told my mom and you could clearly see she wasn’t resonating but she didn’t want to be rude so she replied with, “enjoy it while it lasts!”. lol And I did. It didn’t last long before I went back to my old habits. I began listening to my old music again but I didn’t go back to that gateway that Manson had opened for me until years later.
I must say that I never once questioned that false awakening when it happened. IF it had happened these days I totally would have. I was just amazed that my perspective had changed & I thought it was all bullshit. It goes to show you how strong these brainwashing techniques are. And all they have to do is half ass try.
I wasn’t able to get back to that point in my path for a while for many reasons, I lived with my grandparents for a while & I didn’t know how to hide things like that plus my grandfather expected me to go to church with him.
My life was quite crazy for a while so I didn’t have time to think about stuff like that.
Finally I had come to a point in my life where I could relax & explore my options when it came to philosophy, magick, the occult, and religion. I began studying paganism, particularly dark paganism in 2006. However it wasn’t until I dove into Satanism in 2010 was when I came back to that gateway that Manson had shown a light upon in my teen years. I was 28 years old when I was finally able to begin breaking those chains of slavery mentality & christian thought!
However my friend then was still my friend later, and she again wasn’t happy that I was venturing into Satanism even though I had been helping her to open her mind to paganism itself. She began to blame every problem we ever had on Satanism & “dark toned paths” that I was walking. And perhaps that was true to some degree but it was because It was making me smarter, it was making me face the truth of myself & her, as well as many other things. I finally began to listen to Marilyn Manson in a way that I use to relate to again. Needless to say I went on many journeys!
I was even behind in Manson’s career so I had to listen to his latest two albums that were out at the time which were Eat Me Drink Me, which I had heard a few of those songs when I was DJing. But I hadn’t heard any of The High End Of Low. Turns out that EMDM became my third favorite album, Holy wood being my first favorite, Antichrist Superstar, my second, then EMDM. And THEOL has truly been there for me during some tough times.
Marilyn Manson along with my choice to explore Satanism & other similar paths has taught me so much of myself. I truly see Manson as a sort of mirror. And as I’ve said before he reminds me of myself in this way along with the equal parts of male & female. The way he expresses himself artistically, the way he thinks, the way he loves, etc. He was my first dark guide, my first teacher.
The first one whom revealed my “friend” to be whom she really was when nobody else saw the truth of her except for myself & I drove myself crazy over it thinking it was just me or that I was somehow stupid or bad.
Manson has taught me how to be responsible for my emotions, for my intelligence, for my path, for my own existence, but he’s also taught me much more than that. Which brings me to the realm of MM as a whole!
Other than the obvious realm of Marilyn Manson, as he reveals the truth of people by the way that they react to him. His way of teaching others through much of his music. Inspiring people to think for themselves, and question what they beliee & how they see things. There is also how he influences my dreams!
I am really big on dreams. Particularly when I became pagan. But everytime I’ve ever dreamt about Manson it has always been trippy like as in Acid trippy, & there is something going on with time. Time can be manipulated whenever Manson is in my dreams.
The very first dream I ever had of him was that I went back in time to where he first came out in 1989 to the early 90’s and I was a whole other person apparently. Because I would have only been about 8 or 9 at this point in real life. So I was in a diferent girls body. I was dressed the part * I even had a metal lunchbox! lol I went to watch his live show & I hung out with all the fans back then and it was mindblowingly amazing! I then left the group of fans home that I was at and I began to take a walk & I saw Manson in current real life time even tho I was still in the past, walking down the street. I had approached him & asked him if he felt like visiting the past also and he said yes.
I can’t remember the rest. But I have had other dreams with him where time is manipulated like that. And I call this a power that he must have in divination. I believe him to beable to time travel in his dreams but also to beable to read the past, present & future in a way that no one else can! Along with his other talents! I also think he is a child of Hekate just like me!
I also feel the need to mention that the other Dre I’ve had about Manaon worthy of sharing is one in particular that happens quite a bit which is that Manson & I are hanging out just bullshitting. And I can’t hepp but notice that there is absolutely nothing ro hide between us. The energy between us is literally the most clean, honest, and very child-like as well as comfortable. So comfortable in fact that we could very well be family on a soul level. Our interactions are playful & affectionate ans even healing. Anyways, in this very dream that couldn’t get much better unless Manson & I started having a sexy time. Lol
Instead I walk out od the tour bus & I see across the street- Nero Bellum whom is the front man of the band Psychlon Nine .I feel my heart begin to pound again as my excitement roars internally. But just before I walk towards him, i si see him turn his head to gaze inro my soul directly; I also felt him say with his heàrt, “no, no. Please sto. Don’t come over here.” Which really hurt me but oh well. I thought it was weird that ultimately I was dreaming of Manson, he is the epitome of the exactly opposite of how Nero was acting. When you think about it Manson is the epitome of the vry opposite of what some may expect thim to be. And he does this with himself. Always thinking t outsmart his own tactics, ways, words, concepts, maska, etx. It was like the dream itself showed that very polarity thinking withun him yet as a context of my dream. But to be honest, I too have the same paradox in my mind. 🙂
There is one more Manson dream I’ve had that i must share. This time I was invisible. I don’t rememver how i did it but I obviously had to have maee myself invisible. I was inside of a huge fancy house. ISitting at the high bar in the large kitchen .Suddenly Dita Von Tease & Manson walked into the kitchen from the living room. They were ranodnly taping, slightly bickering. And her attitude sucked which Ive always thought that.
Suddenly in dream I remembered that I had Mansons password on his only journal/diary. I don’t remember how I recieved this but I believe that Manson had given it ro me. Perhaps seeing DITA & Manson WAS MORE OF A memory of Manson that I was seeing. Maybe like a matrix or hologram rort of thing. Then Dita disappeared & I had revealled myself. Of course Manson wasnt shocked or upset I will sneaking about in his house. We started drinking absinthe and I don’t d him my fan viseos I made. Particuarly the one for “You & me & the devil makes three”. I showed him and he pouted because of how I had edited it. Majing his issues with Evan and Dita very obvious. But them again so did he. He admitted said that He didn’t like tthis video. I joked and said, “But… But… I made it it!!!”
And we did indeed fuck in that drram but it was more of a subconscious memory. But istrange cause he and ifeel the most platonic even tho i am attracted to him & we are very close in my dreams. We seem to be like ancient many lifetimes elder friends!
DDreams with say Jonathan Davis at tiems can seem very sexually driven but nothing happens. Something amazing happened between me and Peter Steele. But it wasn’t sex.
tconcludes my Manson’s Spiritual REalm story!
I will be back to share my JD story & my Pter Steel spiritual realm story!